visiting great-aunt

I'm just back from visiting Great-Aunt at the nursing home where she's learning to walk again. She was in her usual high spirits although I know this is the last place on earth where she'd want to be. We chatted for a while before she was whisked away to lunch.

As I watched the old folks gather around the dining table, I couldn't help but notice how quiet everyone was. They moved like robots, no doubt from stiff joints aggravated by long hours of sitting. There were no smiles, no chatter. In the past week of visiting Great-Aunt, today was only the first time I'd bumped into a sole visitor to the home.

Ever the fiercely independent, highly mobile woman she's been all her life, it somehow seems odd to see her confined to a home with strangers where she can only hobble around with the aid of a walker. I don't think she ever saw this coming in all of her 85 years.

From the start, I'd been against sending her to a nursing home. Clean as the home is, and friendly as the staff and other old folks are, surely there can be no place like home and being among familiar faces and the people who love and care for her.

I'm consoled only by the fact that she's getting the help she needs to get walking again. And I hope she walks again soon.

a mixed year

Here we are, days away from a brand new year. It's the time that gets a lot of us reflecting on the year that's almost ending. Well, this year started out pretty much like any other year but it turned out to be different in a number of ways.

First off, my stepmother passed on. Although she and I were never close, her loss was unexpected and I was sad to see her go. I felt helpless watching my Dad mourn her loss, adamantly insisting he'd be fine but knowing he was crying inside.

I tried to visit as often as I could. I'd pop in unannounced in the morning to cheer him up when I knew he missed her most - he used to make her a cup of coffee and butter her bread. But with three schoolgoing kids, it wasn't always possible for me to be there.

So he tried to be out of the house as much as he could. Thankfully the daily yum-cha (tea drinking) and mall crawling rituals with his old cronies kept his mind busy most days. He never told me but I think he found the nights and quiet times the hardest.

And now, months later, I'm happy to say he's his old gregarious self again, joking and chatting. He keeps up his daily routine of hanging out with his old cronies, enjoying morning coffee, walking the shopping malls for hours, and trying out new food places.

On the homefront, my two kids were preparing for their government exams. I think I became more stressed out than them as the exams drew nearer. In the final run-up to the UPSR (primary school assessment), Raine and I pored over fractions, percentages and some of the more tricky long questions.

Then came the run-up to the PMR (lower secondary school assessment) when Steev and I were up late into the night battling linear inequalities, trigonometry and fun stuff like that (LOL). I still can't believe how I managed to summon up my deepest mathematical nightmares from my school days and impart them on him at a moment's notice.

But that's what moms are for, I guess, to be there whenever whatever! As I drove first Raine, then Steev, to school to get their results, I was quiet. Luckily neither of them noticed. I think they were full of anticipation themselves.

I can't tell you how relieved I was when I saw 5 straight A's on Raine's results slip, and last week, 7 on Steev's slip! I was walking on air all day. Mom's last-minute private tutoring has paid off, big time.

This year, I've also had the opportunity to see some people for what they really are. True colors are not always a pleasant sight but they do have a way of showing through in times of adversity. My great-aunt, who has lived with me for years, suffered a fall. Since I work and have three school-going kids, and no maid, I can't possibly take care of her.

At wit's end, I put out the call for help to the other family members. No one would take her in... and I'm talking about family members with houses, maids and spare rooms. As a result, after a colorful family tiff orchestrated by Ursula (my dear sister-in-law), Great-Aunt is now living in a nursing home. Sad but true.

On a more cheerful note, this has also been the year I discovered exercise. I'm nuts about the gym and the endorphin rush it gives me afterwards. So not only am I leaner and meaner (LOL) now, I feel more energetic and less stressed.

So yeah, all in all, a lot's happened this year. It's all been pretty mixed. There were the good and bad days, the times of disappointment and pride, excitement and anxiety, worry and relief. Had a few laughs, shed a few tears, made a few friends, learnt a few lessons from life.

Merry Christmas if you're celebrating.